When life gives you lemons, make orange juice. And leave people wondering how the fuck you did it.

 

Anonymous asked
Do you believe in God?

I once got stoned with a Hare Krishna who told me that I was the supreme Avatar of God. So yeah I believe that I’m God.

Although looking up the mantra’s of the Hare Krishna’s apparently the 4 big no-no’s are Illicit Sex, Intoxicants, Eating Meat, and Gambling. 3 of which I’m pretty big on, (never been a big gambler).

So yeah I’m a pretty shitty God. 

Anonymous asked
Can u hack my bf Facebook I knew the password but he changed it

Hacking your boyfriends facebook account will not help either of you in the slightest.

Just talk to him if you’re having problems.

I’m not hacking someone for you.

I genuinely forgot that Facebook posts all the music that I’m listening to on Spotify. 

Have had quite a few ‘You listen to ALOT of Britney Spears..’ comments. 

idgits-in-the-impala:

idgits-in-the-impala:

So my parents switched eye doctors this. Year. My doc used to be a guy that could pass for Bradley Cooper and smelled like heaven but now I have a new one and he looks like he stepped out of a 70s sitcom. Lucky me.

Hehas a disco ball in his exam room. What.

Looks like he’s really making a spectacle of his room.